Well, here is my favorite ship.

Has anyone ever told you that you need to get up and experience the world? Is your default answer to that question something like: “the internet has everything I need” or “I don’t feel like going out today”? Well, that line of thinking has its pros and cons. Not everyone likes the way that society currently functions and are completely comfortable with being labeled as antisocial because there is no reason to live your life in order to appease others. Now, even though it is perfectly fine to be different, all choices in life come with consequences. Many people grow up and look back on their lives with a feeling of emptiness because they did not truly achieve what they always wanted to do. This can lead to parents living vicariously through their children. Prime examples of this behavior would be women that enter their daughters in youth pageants and fathers that force their sons to play sports even if said son has little to no interest in being an athlete. You may be asking yourself how any of this is relevant to shipping which is in the title of this article. I am going to make that dumb move that you see in movies where they slip the film’s title into the dialogue by telling you that shipping characters is a good example of living vicariously. Much like with the parents that are far too intent on having their children achieve specific goals, shippers have very specific goals in mind for their favorite couples. We have it in our minds who they should be with, how it should happen, and what they should experience along the way. More often than not, these thoughts can lead to fan fiction and an overall obsession with the characters that people will constantly remind you are fictional. I just threw out some words that you may or may not be familiar with, so let’s define them before we move on. Living vicariously through others means to take the experiences of others and treat them as if they were your own. This often happens on the subconscious level which makes it an oddly dangerous habit. Shipping is when you show your support for a romantic pairing. Of course, it can be platonic and it doesn’t always have to be limited to a pair, but I will not overcomplicate things and keep the definition of supporting a romantic pair for this discussion.

Tumblr has given this phrase a whole new meaning.

Now, we can take this obsession and examine it further. For this article, let’s assume that you are a male and focus on anime and manga specifically. When you watch a romantic anime that is directed towards males, the writers attempt to appeal to the dreams of your demographic. This is why we often see stories with a harem setup in a shounen series. The harem element is meant to appeal to those that want to be popular with women and it will trigger one of two responses.

There are people like this and I am one of them.

The first is a focus on the protagonist. In some cases you will associate with this character because you are alike, in others you will admit that the guy is worthy of the popularity, but more often than not you will feel disdain towards this character. You believe that he is not worthy of this attention and jealousy is what often fuels this reaction. Although I will say that a good portion of protagonists in a harem are very hate worthy. When you focus on the protagonist, you are experiencing the story the way it was intended. Any shipping that you do is usually with the protagonist and one of the girls from the harem. Picking the girl is the tricky part. Everyone has their preferences when it comes to these things and that is why the members of harems often fit certain stereotypes. Do you like outwardly cold girls, stalkers, childhood friends, and so on? Well, veterans of anime harems should notice that they often ship the same kind of girl with the protagonist regardless of what series they are watching. For example, I normally support the girls who are childhood friends with the main character. This pattern forms because you are subconsciously supporting your ideal situation. Now, while this is a somewhat subtle example of your romantic desires, the second response is a little more extreme.

Some of you may not be THAT extreme.

Sometimes people decide that they ship themselves with characters from various anime. For example, some guys like a female character so much that they will buy a body pillow with their image on it and sleep with said pillow. Once you get to this point, the gray area between enjoying romance and having an unhealthy relationship with a fictional character starts to become a little more black and white. Obviously, it is only bad if the thought of being with a fictional stops being a joke. Many psychologists will say that any level of this connection to fictional characters is to your detriment and that it is simply a mechanism to cope with your unfulfilled romantic interests. To an extent this makes a lot of sense, but this would not be a discussion if we only got one side to the story.

I live in America.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying romance in general. A lot of people can say that they even ship characters from various stories and still sustain good relationships in real life. That is obviously a true statement and psychologists in today’s society often make a lot out of nothing, but various studies have been done on this subject and psychology exists for things like this. I am a shipper and I do not feel like my life is unfulfilled. However, I will say that there are lines that should be drawn in any situation. Gray areas form and that is where debate comes in. Romance is a part of stories in every part of the world and people make opinions regarding things whether or not they intend to. I draw the line at buying body pillows of your favorite characters, but that is just me. What do you think about this topic?